new post and blog layout coming soon...I've been so lazy with this blog lately!
I've listened to the two songs I just posted for almost a month straight now..old but sooo good :)
Oct 31, 2010
Dec 10, 2009
Something about Infomercials
I turned on the t.v after a long day. There is a title I always see on our tevo guide while flipping through the channel list that says "sculpt abs in bed." Curiosity got the best of me, I clicked on it and I was immediatley roped in. Minute by minute I slowly came around to the idea that wearing the Contour ab sculpting belt might actually work. It was only 14.99 for a three week free trial and shipping was free if you called in the next 20 minutes. This thing looked so legit. You even got a free travel carrier backpack HELLO! I know so many facts about it I could probably easily sell it to you. I thought long and hard about calling, felt retarded then quickly wrote the number on my hand before the next infomercial started. I decided to do a little research about it. Turns out it actually does what it says except it doesn't burn calories, just sculpts and tightens up the muscle you already have. But jeeze that works for me. I didn't call. I confessed my near splurge (the buying price is 200.00) to my friend and she in return shared a story about her own near purchase. She actually called, it was a special oven/microwave, cooked out all the fat, was energy efficient, came with a bunch of free stuff. She ordered it to give it to her mom for Christmas. She broke down out of excitement or guilt and told her mom about it, realizing how much she had spent, her mom made her cancle the charge. I still think the Contour belt is amazing and she who must not be named is still sold on the new-wave oven. She sold me on it too. The last thing I wanted to buy from an infomercial was in January of 08- the "swivel sweeper" because my roommates were messy and the thing worked so well. One day when I'm brave enough I'm going to buy them. This post felt like maybe I should have written to post secret instead. Now everyone knows I'm a sucker for a good infomercial. But you know you've felt the urge.
Dec 8, 2009
Timing or Luck
I was looking through pictures of my trip to Thailand this summer and noticed these two pictures of my friend Kelsey being attacked by birds..also old ladies trying to steal her money. Making the most out of a good distraction is one valuable lesson I took from the trip. Inspired by a Demetri Martin "people" episode: Timing
Some may say it's luck, but I say no- i'm just good at capturing luck. Which does say something about my knack for great timing.
Great TimingSome may say it's luck, but I say no- i'm just good at capturing luck. Which does say something about my knack for great timing.
Dec 5, 2009
Thithsters
I love my sisters! Jocelyn helped me babysit the kids I nanny last night and got to dress up as a 60s girl or as Kru put it "A girl with a cape and a poodle skirt- and glasses." Kru was a batman ninja, then Buzz Lightyear, then an alien with a cowboy hat. I wish I had pictures :( but I just wanted to say thanks Boss I love you, you're the best!
Nov 17, 2009
Bummin
I'm a bum. I'm trying to enjoy my time as a bum but I can't help but feel anxious to do something with my life sometime soon. I like tree swings, if you are reading this and you know of any good tree swings anywhere in Utah let me know and I promise to share some amazing ones with you. Here's a picture of my favorite new married couple Sarah and Luke tryin out the slackline.
Nov 2, 2009
Yo Yo's
Yo-Yo's are awesome. Do you even have to ask if they're cool? no. you don't. Yo-Yo's solidify the phrase "it's all in the name" it's like, yo! look at this yo-yo. Things are always better when you say them twice..some phrases take on a whole new meaning. But also, you must be very careful when doubling phrases because if you repeat something like "everything will be fine" it's like wait....why did you just say that twice, were you lying the first time, are you saying it again to reassure- once for me- once for yourself? That sort of monotony scares me.
I think each time you say a word back to back it builds intensity into that word. Even though it's essentially the same word repeated over and over, with each re-utterance the word grows stronger and means a lot more than it did the first time. Like if you say jump. The first time its like what? the second time is like why? by the third jump it's like alright fine I'll jump...but by the fourth JUMP! you know it's no joke. The fifth jump usually comes out with a string of profanities JUMP!! YOU IMBECILE DON'T YOU SEE THAT ROPE HEADING RIGHT FOR YOUR FEET!?!?!
ha. . .oh jump-rope how I miss you.
The Whirligig (first U.S. yo-yo patent)
Cool Fact: Did you know that the word BOOKKEEPER is the ONLY word in the English language that has double letters back to back to back. ya, that's real.
I think each time you say a word back to back it builds intensity into that word. Even though it's essentially the same word repeated over and over, with each re-utterance the word grows stronger and means a lot more than it did the first time. Like if you say jump. The first time its like what? the second time is like why? by the third jump it's like alright fine I'll jump...but by the fourth JUMP! you know it's no joke. The fifth jump usually comes out with a string of profanities JUMP!! YOU IMBECILE DON'T YOU SEE THAT ROPE HEADING RIGHT FOR YOUR FEET!?!?!
ha. . .oh jump-rope how I miss you.
P.S. BEWARE OF SINGLE WORDS REPEATED THAT ARE NOT VERBS OR YOUR NAME. for example if someone were to shout toe. toe. toe. TOE TOE! You could have just come across a severed phalange. Awkward awkward awkward awkward awkward. wow uummm that must have just been a really awkward situation. can't help you there. It's fun to think of words to repeat then come up with stories behind it the possibilities are endless and i had fun just barely.
The Whirligig (first U.S. yo-yo patent)
James L. Haven and Charles Hettrich patented the first yo-yo in 1866 (U.S. Patent 59,745 ), under the name whirligig.
Cool Fact: Did you know that the word BOOKKEEPER is the ONLY word in the English language that has double letters back to back to back. ya, that's real.
Sep 7, 2009
Stuff that's gay
politically incorrect? yes. An appropriate word to describe how I feel about things that are retarded at this time? even more so, yes. Feeling pessimistic? Feeling like complaining about stuff that's gay? Feeling bloated, fatigued or slightly lightheaded? if yes, this list is for you.
Disclaimer: I am guilty of more than one of these don't judge I just feel like complaining.
-Owning a tandem bike. ya that's preeetty gay. owning a tandem bike when you're single and utterly alone, so so alone GAY
-taking pictures of half decent looking flowers with a giant zoom and a really nice camera, then calling yourself a photographer, GAY you're not good at photography, you just found a decent looking flower, zoomed in on it with your nice camera and called it a piece of art. GAY! you're not clever, you suck and you're unoriginal. Crisply clear contrast-boosted flowers are lame and mostly boring and yet they are still popping up everywhere. like people are saying OOOHHH SWEET! A CLOSE-UP ON A HYDRANGEA!! THEY ARE SO GOOD WITH A CAMERA JUST, WOW I WONDER WHERE THAT WAS. THAT FLOWER. GET THAT FRAMED AND SIGN IT.
-Making sure people KNOW that you know- EVERYTHING. and about shiz you didn't even ask about in the first place. gay.
-Almost saying something important. then being like no, no, never mind. AAHH hate it, I do it sometimes but still, GAY. Important stuff is important, its like the substance of all conversation -I'm feeling so so deep right now. ha that is one sentence that should have been completed with a "dude" at the end.
-When someone doesn't match your emotion, for example when you are standing there pouring your heart out , well yeah pretty much, opening up to someone about how you feel and then they don't match your emotion, or your level of communication or openness about the subject , getting a shrug and a yeahh.. wow that's so GAY. you know, hypothetically in that situation, that would be gay of someone.
-It's gay when you walk behind someone and they look behind or over their shoulder at you all annoyed like your tailgating them in your car or something I just want to honk and be like MOVE i'm not stalking you I just like to walk faster than a slug, I have wider strides and we seem to be going to the same place so shoot me.
-Making a point about something you don't even know about GAY
-When you have the most amazing summer of your life and come back to a new school, especially UVU. It's hard to start school again soccerless.
-Documentaries about service projects. Publicizing it misses the point and kind of robs the experience for what it's worth. people just feel weird sharing experiences about how this has supposedly changed their lives, what if they just wanted to do a little service and give back a bit. It's so uggghh so gay it's almost expected this story this thing these events that are supposed to happen, it's like forcing chocolate down your throat- too much of a good thing, all at once. You want to enjoy it but you just can't because it's being forced upon you all of the time.
-Cereal binges at 3 in the morn. GAY
-Dave Matthews being canceled for the fourth time in Utah. THE SUPERMAN OF GAY. Next day on the radio, he wasn't even sick he acted all hoarse then called Utah Utard, laughed in a normal voice and told the dj he was an amazing lover. I have my own conspiracy theory that he is in some way trying to teach a lesson to the reddest state in America; he is quite political. That asshole. I bought tickets a year a go quite literally, had a big fiasco with the hubstub.com or whatever: five hundred dollar tickets that I never got and hmm couldnt be refunded "one of a kind originally printed" so I canceled the charge. I bought new ones on will call, not nearly as good. POINT: My whole life was leading up to this one day, September 1st doors open 630 show at 8, now I pretty much have nothing to live for except for lucky charms at three in the morn.
-Treating cats like humans. GAY get a real kid. Adoption. Haha that reminds me of this standup the other day how its weird that adoption has the word option in it. I dont know, guess you had to be there.
-YOUTUBE HOGS that think they know all the funniest youtubes in the world and "just wait wait wait this ones SO funny" and its a friggin rap about a leprechaun. yeah laughing my head off. Then you try and talk some sense into them with a little fake laugh and k ya that one was real funny, have you seen the nursery noise anchor bloop...and they interrupt "OOOHH NunonoNO NO NO I JUST remembered this one, its so funny hahahha oh my gosh we have to watch this" and ya they hog youtube the whole night and only laugh really hard at the ones they show you. WOW, those close minded youtubers just really get my goat. GAY and when they laugh so loud at the supposed punch line that you can't even hear it and your standing behind them with a wrinkled face like wha???
I always wonder what those youtubers are thinking, they must be thinking "alright the harder I laugh at this clip I've seen 17 times now, the funnier my friends around me will think it is, maybe if I watch them while they are watching the funny parts.....yeah. look at it, laugh, look back at them.....yeah."
- spending over 180 dollars on art supplies for water media ONE. nope I'm just in 1010 but I need a 100 dollar watercolor set. GAY
- When you see or hear something that is so priceless and you know you could never do it justice recreating it for someone else to see or hear.
-When guys say "chicks" even jokingly. Its gay, its like the word comes with a post script "now when you say it in any sort of sentence say it with a fake thug accent and in a real douche bag sort of way, it will be really funny believe me. friend should respond with similar accent and tone"
-That's all the gay i can think of right now. I feel better but I'm kind of disgusted at how much I think is gay, its making me out to be a people hater.
Disclaimer: I am guilty of more than one of these don't judge I just feel like complaining.
-Owning a tandem bike. ya that's preeetty gay. owning a tandem bike when you're single and utterly alone, so so alone GAY
-taking pictures of half decent looking flowers with a giant zoom and a really nice camera, then calling yourself a photographer, GAY you're not good at photography, you just found a decent looking flower, zoomed in on it with your nice camera and called it a piece of art. GAY! you're not clever, you suck and you're unoriginal. Crisply clear contrast-boosted flowers are lame and mostly boring and yet they are still popping up everywhere. like people are saying OOOHHH SWEET! A CLOSE-UP ON A HYDRANGEA!! THEY ARE SO GOOD WITH A CAMERA JUST, WOW I WONDER WHERE THAT WAS. THAT FLOWER. GET THAT FRAMED AND SIGN IT.
-Making sure people KNOW that you know- EVERYTHING. and about shiz you didn't even ask about in the first place. gay.
-Almost saying something important. then being like no, no, never mind. AAHH hate it, I do it sometimes but still, GAY. Important stuff is important, its like the substance of all conversation -I'm feeling so so deep right now. ha that is one sentence that should have been completed with a "dude" at the end.
-When someone doesn't match your emotion, for example when you are standing there pouring your heart out , well yeah pretty much, opening up to someone about how you feel and then they don't match your emotion, or your level of communication or openness about the subject , getting a shrug and a yeahh.. wow that's so GAY. you know, hypothetically in that situation, that would be gay of someone.
-It's gay when you walk behind someone and they look behind or over their shoulder at you all annoyed like your tailgating them in your car or something I just want to honk and be like MOVE i'm not stalking you I just like to walk faster than a slug, I have wider strides and we seem to be going to the same place so shoot me.
-Making a point about something you don't even know about GAY
-When you have the most amazing summer of your life and come back to a new school, especially UVU. It's hard to start school again soccerless.
-Documentaries about service projects. Publicizing it misses the point and kind of robs the experience for what it's worth. people just feel weird sharing experiences about how this has supposedly changed their lives, what if they just wanted to do a little service and give back a bit. It's so uggghh so gay it's almost expected this story this thing these events that are supposed to happen, it's like forcing chocolate down your throat- too much of a good thing, all at once. You want to enjoy it but you just can't because it's being forced upon you all of the time.
-Cereal binges at 3 in the morn. GAY
-Dave Matthews being canceled for the fourth time in Utah. THE SUPERMAN OF GAY. Next day on the radio, he wasn't even sick he acted all hoarse then called Utah Utard, laughed in a normal voice and told the dj he was an amazing lover. I have my own conspiracy theory that he is in some way trying to teach a lesson to the reddest state in America; he is quite political. That asshole. I bought tickets a year a go quite literally, had a big fiasco with the hubstub.com or whatever: five hundred dollar tickets that I never got and hmm couldnt be refunded "one of a kind originally printed" so I canceled the charge. I bought new ones on will call, not nearly as good. POINT: My whole life was leading up to this one day, September 1st doors open 630 show at 8, now I pretty much have nothing to live for except for lucky charms at three in the morn.
-Treating cats like humans. GAY get a real kid. Adoption. Haha that reminds me of this standup the other day how its weird that adoption has the word option in it. I dont know, guess you had to be there.
-YOUTUBE HOGS that think they know all the funniest youtubes in the world and "just wait wait wait this ones SO funny" and its a friggin rap about a leprechaun. yeah laughing my head off. Then you try and talk some sense into them with a little fake laugh and k ya that one was real funny, have you seen the nursery noise anchor bloop...and they interrupt "OOOHH NunonoNO NO NO I JUST remembered this one, its so funny hahahha oh my gosh we have to watch this" and ya they hog youtube the whole night and only laugh really hard at the ones they show you. WOW, those close minded youtubers just really get my goat. GAY and when they laugh so loud at the supposed punch line that you can't even hear it and your standing behind them with a wrinkled face like wha???
I always wonder what those youtubers are thinking, they must be thinking "alright the harder I laugh at this clip I've seen 17 times now, the funnier my friends around me will think it is, maybe if I watch them while they are watching the funny parts.....yeah. look at it, laugh, look back at them.....yeah."
- spending over 180 dollars on art supplies for water media ONE. nope I'm just in 1010 but I need a 100 dollar watercolor set. GAY
- When you see or hear something that is so priceless and you know you could never do it justice recreating it for someone else to see or hear.
-When guys say "chicks" even jokingly. Its gay, its like the word comes with a post script "now when you say it in any sort of sentence say it with a fake thug accent and in a real douche bag sort of way, it will be really funny believe me. friend should respond with similar accent and tone"
-That's all the gay i can think of right now. I feel better but I'm kind of disgusted at how much I think is gay, its making me out to be a people hater.
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