Late Night Pondering...

Today was not the best day. I learn something about myself every time I have a bad day though, which is an up side to a bad day? ha i'm not sure how that one works. But today I learned that I become sort of an egg instead of a coffee bean when I don't have the best days. And when I am mad or sad- it eventually turns into bitterness.
Let me explain the egg and coffee bean analogy. When we were at our last tournament at ASU our coach gave us a little story to read, everyone was laughing under their breath like oh great just another stupid thing coach does but I secretly liked the story a lot. It was about a mom talking to her daughter that was going through a hard time. The mother took three small pots, filled them each with water and put them on the stove. In one she put an egg, in the other some coffee beans and in the last one some baby carrots. They sit in silence or something, go skiing I'm not sure-basically time passes. The mom then tells the daughter to observe each pot and tell her what she sees. "uhh..some carrots..." then the mom asks her to really look, she feels the carrots and how soft they are, she breaks the egg and notices it has become solid inside then the mom asks her to try the coffee, and she "smiled as she tasted its rich aroma" haha - ya it's on my wall. So anyway the point: each object had the same adversity-boiling water but they all reacted differently to it. I'll leave the rest of interpreting symbols up to you but
I really like this part "If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you instead of letting it change you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?" If only I could be a coffee bean all the time. I would definitely be kickin back in a hammock somewhere not writing in a blog. Now, ask yourself...are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
hahaha I couldn't resist the rhetorical question. Alright so...I'll stop being coach for a second I'm beginning to poke my own eye out. (SHOUT OUT EM AND E hahaha) anyway i forgot my overarching brilliant theme to this post but it's late or early and I'm tired which is a miracle, I haven't been able to sleep so well lately. goodnight

Case of the Missing Artwork

I finally faced the fact that no one reads your blog except yourself (and maybe in my case Em or Kels ha HI!)- well there is the exception of family but not a lot of my family knows I have this blog or even have one themselves. Anyway blogging is just therapeutic, it's somewhat of a human impulse I've read..to want document events in your life somehow in someway. It's like writing in a journal except more exciting because there is that small possibility that you have hundreds of fans in China or Europe waiting anxiously for your next post.
Back to the purpose of this post.. its blowing my mind! This is a picture of my little neighbor friend Chris and I holding some of my AP art right after I got my portfolio back last summer. The picture on the left of the farmer couple was one of my favorite ones and I brought it to college to frame and hang in my apartment. Well second semester is almost over and still my room is pretty bare, there's one of my favorite Greg Olsen's on my book shelf and another I did above my desk but that's about it. So the time came tonight to add a little flavor to the walls. I picked the perfect spot to hang my blinde-contoured farmer people, had the special hanger things I bought at "family dollar" that don't leave marks on the walls and everything. I looked in the portfolio where I had put the piece when I moved in and...GONE! It has been stressing me out so much I can't even begin to explain.
The ironic thing about this event though, is that tonight I realized I had lost my bag with my wallet in it too. That wallet had credit cards, cash, key to my room, my mail box code, PADI card, drivers license and all sorts of important stuff like that. It's funny to me that I am so much more stressed about the painting. I think it's because things like credit cards can be canceled and replaced, I can find another wallet, not to say this won't be a lot of work but everything in that wallet "created me" if you will, but I created that painting. The painting reminded me of a lot of great experiences in that period of my life. I guess my drivers license reminds me of..traffic school and drivers ed. I guess I'm just trying to figure out why I'm holding onto that painting so much. We read a graphic novel called "God's Man" in my writing about art 2010 class recently. The artist is broke and starving and gives his last pence to a beggar outside a cafe. He enters the cafe and eats, the owner naturally wants pay. The artist offers one of his prized paintings as pay and the next frame is the owner laughing in his face. To him, his art had just as much if not more value than the price he owed for his food. But obviously capitalist society claims if this work of art doesn't have commercial value it is worthless blah blah blah.. The artist ends up signing a contract offered to him by a mysterious figure in the restaurant. The man pays him to create art and gives him fame prostitutes and riches galore. The artist at the end is thrown (or jumps- debatable) off of a cliff because he realizes in that moment that he has given his entire life away, wasted everything for money and commercial value. The moment you have SOLD your soul, art or ability- its not about your soul, art or ability anymore.
That book just came to mind in the middle of all my frantic worrying. Well wow, this was a novel but I should really do what I am supposed to be doing and study for my math test tomorrow. I will get to the bottom of this mystery. To be continued..