Something about Infomercials

I turned on the t.v after a long day. There is a title I always see on our tevo guide while flipping through the channel list that says "sculpt abs in bed." Curiosity got the best of me, I clicked on it and I was immediatley roped in. Minute by minute I slowly came around to the idea that wearing the Contour ab sculpting belt might actually work. It was only 14.99 for a three week free trial and shipping was free if you called in the next 20 minutes. This thing looked so legit. You even got a free travel carrier backpack HELLO! I know so many facts about it I could probably easily sell it to you. I thought long and hard about calling, felt retarded then quickly wrote the number on my hand before the next infomercial started. I decided to do a little research about it. Turns out it actually does what it says except it doesn't burn calories, just sculpts and tightens up the muscle you already have. But jeeze that works for me. I didn't call. I confessed my near splurge (the buying price is 200.00) to my friend and she in return shared a story about her own near purchase. She actually called, it was a special oven/microwave, cooked out all the fat, was energy efficient, came with a bunch of free stuff. She ordered it to give it to her mom for Christmas. She broke down out of excitement or guilt and told her mom about it, realizing how much she had spent, her mom made her cancle the charge. I still think the Contour belt is amazing and she who must not be named is still sold on the new-wave oven. She sold me on it too. The last thing I wanted to buy from an infomercial was in January of 08- the "swivel sweeper" because my roommates were messy and the thing worked so well. One day when I'm brave enough I'm going to buy them. This post felt like maybe I should have written to post secret instead. Now everyone knows I'm a sucker for a good infomercial. But you know you've felt the urge.

Timing or Luck

I was looking through pictures of my trip to Thailand this summer and noticed these two pictures of my friend Kelsey being attacked by birds..also old ladies trying to steal her money. Making the most out of a good distraction is one valuable lesson I took from the trip. Inspired by a Demetri Martin "people" episode: Timing

Good Timing

Great Timing

Some may say it's luck, but I say no- i'm just good at capturing luck. Which does say something about my knack for great timing.

Thithsters

I love my sisters! Jocelyn helped me babysit the kids I nanny last night and got to dress up as a 60s girl or as Kru put it "A girl with a cape and a poodle skirt- and glasses." Kru was a batman ninja, then Buzz Lightyear, then an alien with a cowboy hat. I wish I had pictures :( but I just wanted to say thanks Boss I love you, you're the best!

Bummin

I'm a bum. I'm trying to enjoy my time as a bum but I can't help but feel anxious to do something with my life sometime soon. I like tree swings, if you are reading this and you know of any good tree swings anywhere in Utah let me know and I promise to share some amazing ones with you. Here's a picture of my favorite new married couple Sarah and Luke tryin out the slackline.

Yo Yo's

Yo-Yo's are awesome. Do you even have to ask if they're cool? no. you don't. Yo-Yo's solidify the phrase "it's all in the name" it's like, yo! look at this yo-yo. Things are always better when you say them twice..some phrases take on a whole new meaning. But also, you must be very careful when doubling phrases because if you repeat something like "everything will be fine" it's like wait....why did you just say that twice, were you lying the first time, are you saying it again to reassure- once for me- once for yourself? That sort of monotony scares me.
I think each time you say a word back to back it builds intensity into that word. Even though it's essentially the same word repeated over and over, with each re-utterance the word grows stronger and means a lot more than it did the first time. Like if you say jump. The first time its like what? the second time is like why? by the third jump it's like alright fine I'll jump...but by the fourth JUMP! you know it's no joke. The fifth jump usually comes out with a string of profanities JUMP!! YOU IMBECILE DON'T YOU SEE THAT ROPE HEADING RIGHT FOR YOUR FEET!?!?!
ha. . .oh jump-rope how I miss you.

P.S. BEWARE OF SINGLE WORDS REPEATED THAT ARE NOT VERBS OR YOUR NAME. for example if someone were to shout toe. toe. toe. TOE TOE! You could have just come across a severed phalange. Awkward awkward awkward awkward awkward. wow uummm that must have just been a really awkward situation. can't help you there. It's fun to think of words to repeat then come up with stories behind it the possibilities are endless and i had fun just barely.

The Whirligig (first U.S. yo-yo patent)

James L. Haven and Charles Hettrich patented the first yo-yo in 1866 (U.S. Patent 59,745 ), under the name whirligig.

Cool Fact: Did you know that the word BOOKKEEPER is the ONLY word in the English language that has double letters back to back to back. ya, that's real.

Stuff that's gay

politically incorrect? yes. An appropriate word to describe how I feel about things that are retarded at this time? even more so, yes. Feeling pessimistic? Feeling like complaining about stuff that's gay? Feeling bloated, fatigued or slightly lightheaded? if yes, this list is for you.
Disclaimer: I am guilty of more than one of these don't judge I just feel like complaining.

-Owning a tandem bike. ya that's preeetty gay. owning a tandem bike when you're single and utterly alone, so so alone GAY

-taking pictures of half decent looking flowers with a giant zoom and a really nice camera, then calling yourself a photographer, GAY you're not good at photography, you just found a decent looking flower, zoomed in on it with your nice camera and called it a piece of art. GAY! you're not clever, you suck and you're unoriginal. Crisply clear contrast-boosted flowers are lame and mostly boring and yet they are still popping up everywhere. like people are saying OOOHHH SWEET! A CLOSE-UP ON A HYDRANGEA!! THEY ARE SO GOOD WITH A CAMERA JUST, WOW I WONDER WHERE THAT WAS. THAT FLOWER. GET THAT FRAMED AND SIGN IT.

-Making sure people KNOW that you know- EVERYTHING. and about shiz you didn't even ask about in the first place. gay.

-Almost saying something important. then being like no, no, never mind. AAHH hate it, I do it sometimes but still, GAY. Important stuff is important, its like the substance of all conversation -I'm feeling so so deep right now. ha that is one sentence that should have been completed with a "dude" at the end.

-When someone doesn't match your emotion, for example when you are standing there pouring your heart out , well yeah pretty much, opening up to someone about how you feel and then they don't match your emotion, or your level of communication or openness about the subject , getting a shrug and a yeahh.. wow that's so GAY. you know, hypothetically in that situation, that would be gay of someone.

-It's gay when you walk behind someone and they look behind or over their shoulder at you all annoyed like your tailgating them in your car or something I just want to honk and be like MOVE i'm not stalking you I just like to walk faster than a slug, I have wider strides and we seem to be going to the same place so shoot me.

-Making a point about something you don't even know about GAY

-When you have the most amazing summer of your life and come back to a new school, especially UVU. It's hard to start school again soccerless.

-Documentaries about service projects. Publicizing it misses the point and kind of robs the experience for what it's worth. people just feel weird sharing experiences about how this has supposedly changed their lives, what if they just wanted to do a little service and give back a bit. It's so uggghh so gay it's almost expected this story this thing these events that are supposed to happen, it's like forcing chocolate down your throat- too much of a good thing, all at once. You want to enjoy it but you just can't because it's being forced upon you all of the time.

-Cereal binges at 3 in the morn. GAY

-Dave Matthews being canceled for the fourth time in Utah. THE SUPERMAN OF GAY. Next day on the radio, he wasn't even sick he acted all hoarse then called Utah Utard, laughed in a normal voice and told the dj he was an amazing lover. I have my own conspiracy theory that he is in some way trying to teach a lesson to the reddest state in America; he is quite political. That asshole. I bought tickets a year a go quite literally, had a big fiasco with the hubstub.com or whatever: five hundred dollar tickets that I never got and hmm couldnt be refunded "one of a kind originally printed" so I canceled the charge. I bought new ones on will call, not nearly as good. POINT: My whole life was leading up to this one day, September 1st doors open 630 show at 8, now I pretty much have nothing to live for except for lucky charms at three in the morn.

-Treating cats like humans. GAY get a real kid. Adoption. Haha that reminds me of this standup the other day how its weird that adoption has the word option in it. I dont know, guess you had to be there.

-YOUTUBE HOGS that think they know all the funniest youtubes in the world and "just wait wait wait this ones SO funny" and its a friggin rap about a leprechaun. yeah laughing my head off. Then you try and talk some sense into them with a little fake laugh and k ya that one was real funny, have you seen the nursery noise anchor bloop...and they interrupt "OOOHH NunonoNO NO NO I JUST remembered this one, its so funny hahahha oh my gosh we have to watch this" and ya they hog youtube the whole night and only laugh really hard at the ones they show you. WOW, those close minded youtubers just really get my goat. GAY and when they laugh so loud at the supposed punch line that you can't even hear it and your standing behind them with a wrinkled face like wha???
I always wonder what those youtubers are thinking, they must be thinking "alright the harder I laugh at this clip I've seen 17 times now, the funnier my friends around me will think it is, maybe if I watch them while they are watching the funny parts.....yeah. look at it, laugh, look back at them.....yeah."

- spending over 180 dollars on art supplies for water media ONE. nope I'm just in 1010 but I need a 100 dollar watercolor set. GAY

- When you see or hear something that is so priceless and you know you could never do it justice recreating it for someone else to see or hear.

-When guys say "chicks" even jokingly. Its gay, its like the word comes with a post script "now when you say it in any sort of sentence say it with a fake thug accent and in a real douche bag sort of way, it will be really funny believe me. friend should respond with similar accent and tone"

-That's all the gay i can think of right now. I feel better but I'm kind of disgusted at how much I think is gay, its making me out to be a people hater.

Official cow girl

I worked at my uncles ranch in Lake Town for a while this summer. Time does seem to slow down Syl, I was happy there and I'm already starting to miss it. H.B. is my horses name. I later found out It stands for Hell Bitch. She was a good horse here we are sticking our tongues out.
good old army truck. Thanks for letting me stay with you Uncle B and Aunt Hol, I learned a lot and had fun. Love you guys!

We have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
-Charles R. Swindoll

True Happiness

Finding True Happiness in the midst of True Pain is one of the greatest accomplishments I think we could ever achieve in our life. While I was in Uganda, the smiles seemed to never cease, there was one on every face. The faces of children that have seen images and experienced things that I really can't even begin to understand. I learned through example, through words, gestures and their indefinite smiles and laughter that true joy can be found in true trials with the help of Heavenly Father and our surrounding loved ones whoever they may be. This is my friend Willy and his friend, who he values as much as his own brother because each other- that's all they've got. And it's really all that we have too.

Spermophilus variegatus

^ Here's the Family Album ... can you see all four of them they are there! You might have to click on it to find them all^

Spanky getting a little too comfortable

Two more days until I leave to Uganda! I can't believe it's already here it felt like the time would never come. Anyway we have a family of squirrels living right outside my door! There are four little baby rock squirrels..ya I'm kind of a nerd I sat here and watched them forever, I started straying from my duties and was researching what species they could be and found out that these rock squirrels are native to Utah and yep..they live in the rocks outside my window. I put out some of their favorite food -Almonds and Oranges and they loved it..but not as much as I loved watching them. Colton, Gage and I were making up stories and talking for them ha ha it was a good time. Squirrel watching rules.

5/14 First Outing of the Season = Freezing Water

Skip rides to T Swift and fails...twice. ha ha sorry Skip, but good first run of the season! Love ya cuz

5 days and counting!

Bad Dreams

Life has been pretty hard to love recently. You know those times when you wish everything was just a bad dream? Well that's how I feel. And when I feel like I'm about to wake up, the Dream Man says just kidding and I'm thrown right back into it. But I believe and I hope everything will be alright. That hope keeps me fighting all the bad guys. Hope comforts us all, isn't hope and belief what we live for? Like I hope and believe I will be happy and accomplish my dreams and that's why I live, to confirm my beliefs and assure myself that my hopes have not been in vain. And when beliefs and hopes are lost, those are learning and growing times. And that pretty much sums up life. So you can stop wondering about it now. ha ha wow why do i have this blog ha ha ha I think that to myself every time I'm about to post something- it's that China thing I swear.

Not Dali

My favorite surrealist artist is Vladimir Kush. I was debating it today, it was between Kush, Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I love all of Dalis work but I ruled him out because he is kinda the cliche surrealist. It's kinda like a music lovers pain when you find something so good but then it's almost diminished because of it's popularity. Well that's how it was with my favorite artist pickings, I let my pride get in the way of this one. This way Kush seems more unique and more personal to me.

Painting in the wilderness

This picture is funny it reminds me of the little mermaid but it's cool cause you can see the pink in the sky. I love painting in the wilderness haha good start to summer.

Latest

I just painted all night and it felt really good and now I have paint in my hair. I'm building an art shack in the wilderness in my backyard this summer, I already have some of the brick path that will lead to it done. the brick is really extra roof tiles my mom told me not to use. my friend is going to help me build it but doesn't know it yet :) I'm done with school and on the last day I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I still have to find a job to afford my rock and roll lifestyle. There's the update. I love you Grandma!!!

Invisible Children Peace Walk

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi

Yesterday was a crazy day! I have the amazing opportunity to go to Uganda this summer to help with a soccer camp and clinic with my High School soccer team. The program is called "Goals for Girls", there are even some BYU students making a documentary about it! You can find more info about the trip and what were doing at Goalsforgirls.blogspot.com and GoalsforGirls.org I am so excited and grateful for the opportunity I can hardly express it! So there was a Peace rally in Salt Lake City put on by the Invisible Children Foundation to raise awareness about these Invisible child soldiers that are abducted on almost a daily bases in Uganda to fight for an evil leader named Joseph Koney. What a bad man. Me and over 1,000 others "abducted" ourselves and walked, all connected to a rope for three miles to a destination where we stayed until we were "rescued." In order to be rescued we had to have 2 or more press releases or media coverage out to cover the story and at least one political "mogal" to address the crowd. We also wrote letters to our state representatives and Governor and made art to raise awareness. We had an amazing response, Fox, ABC, KSL channel 5 the Salt Lake Tribune and Daily Herald all covered the story!! It was a great experience.

www.invisiblechildren.com

7/11

I was dropped off at 7/11 today. I waited and waited and no one came for me. I had all my laundry and my backpack and a canvas that leaned on the side of my laundry and my purse. My hair was gross because we just got done with practice 3 hours previous so I put my hood on. I sat down against the wall of 7/11. After 20 minutes I put a small cardboard box in front of me. Someone threw a bunch of change in. I said "thanks"
true story

power91

Tonight I heard Taking Back Sunday "A Decade Under the Influence" on this little radio station and it made me so happy. I forgot about them..it was on my 9th grade mix called "sweet"- track 13 haha. I remembered every lyric which was so weird for me I was laughing to myself while singing it like..how do i remember this its been years since I last heard it. Funny how your brain can remember a bunch of random insignificant things like thousands of artist's names, song titles and lyrics but not important stuff like math equations and peoples names.

What is this?

The glue gun sculpture I made during the "179th annual" general conference. I was covering a journal with it then it blobbed on the table then I started adding to it then I crushed up different color crayon in plastic bags and melted those in then my roomate Hads walked in and asked what I was creating "oh..this. It's just a glue gun statue.." she just looked at me in silence and walked away. haha fun times.

Shout out to the fam

So...I have the best family on the earth. I feel like I have been really really blessed in that area of my life. Growing up, all of my extended and immediate family on both sides have been like one giant family to me. It's more like I have 10 moms and dads, about 22 brothers and 30 sisters. Every one of them is so caring and add a whole lot to my life spiritually and emotionally- they all help me grow and move forward in a positive direction, not one of them hold me back or have a negative influence upon my life, I learn and gain a lot from them whenever I'm around them. My "PapaBob" and "MaBev" came to see me play in our scrimmage today against Westminster and since I am currently and proudly in the starting position left bench, they only saw me play for the last 15 minutes of the half they were there for. haha- I love them so much! My mom calls me almost every night and has been writing me letters every day for about two months now, I always feel strengthened and comforted after every letter and conversation. I write about how wonderful and greatful I am to have the famdam that I do all the time in my journal but I had to give a public shout out today. I love you all

The New List

This is my USB plant pod that got for Christmas. For those that don't know I'm a huge science fan, especially biology. Not the way way nerdy kind but I like to learn about it and I enjoy reading Popular Science Magazine, I've been getting it since 8th grade. Anyway I had a dream about the pod last night. Ya, about a plant pod. the seeds that came with it never germinated so I bought new ones three days ago and they are already starting to sprout! My dream was that when I emptied out the soil to replace the seeds, there were actually roots growing out of the old seeds I pulled out. The horror felt so life-like, I was so bummed about it in my dream. In honor of this dream I've decided to make a new list. Kind of like the "you know you're a red neck when.." but my list is:

You know your life is pathetic when:

1. the extent of your dreams = growing plants in a computer powered plant pod.
   
2. you live in Cedar City
3. Friday night sitting around the bar, "want a nutty bar" - nuff said
4. conversations of drama from "The Real World" replace the void of dramatic conversations in your own life.
5. screwing up once in practice can ruin your whole day... because OUR LIVES REVOLVE AROUND SOCCER. eat, sleep, soccer and school if were up to it ha ;)
   
6. I'll add to the list as I realize more pathetic events- but I'm liking the list so far haha

Late Night Pondering...

Today was not the best day. I learn something about myself every time I have a bad day though, which is an up side to a bad day? ha i'm not sure how that one works. But today I learned that I become sort of an egg instead of a coffee bean when I don't have the best days. And when I am mad or sad- it eventually turns into bitterness.
Let me explain the egg and coffee bean analogy. When we were at our last tournament at ASU our coach gave us a little story to read, everyone was laughing under their breath like oh great just another stupid thing coach does but I secretly liked the story a lot. It was about a mom talking to her daughter that was going through a hard time. The mother took three small pots, filled them each with water and put them on the stove. In one she put an egg, in the other some coffee beans and in the last one some baby carrots. They sit in silence or something, go skiing I'm not sure-basically time passes. The mom then tells the daughter to observe each pot and tell her what she sees. "uhh..some carrots..." then the mom asks her to really look, she feels the carrots and how soft they are, she breaks the egg and notices it has become solid inside then the mom asks her to try the coffee, and she "smiled as she tasted its rich aroma" haha - ya it's on my wall. So anyway the point: each object had the same adversity-boiling water but they all reacted differently to it. I'll leave the rest of interpreting symbols up to you but
I really like this part "If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you instead of letting it change you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?" If only I could be a coffee bean all the time. I would definitely be kickin back in a hammock somewhere not writing in a blog. Now, ask yourself...are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
hahaha I couldn't resist the rhetorical question. Alright so...I'll stop being coach for a second I'm beginning to poke my own eye out. (SHOUT OUT EM AND E hahaha) anyway i forgot my overarching brilliant theme to this post but it's late or early and I'm tired which is a miracle, I haven't been able to sleep so well lately. goodnight

Case of the Missing Artwork

I finally faced the fact that no one reads your blog except yourself (and maybe in my case Em or Kels ha HI!)- well there is the exception of family but not a lot of my family knows I have this blog or even have one themselves. Anyway blogging is just therapeutic, it's somewhat of a human impulse I've read..to want document events in your life somehow in someway. It's like writing in a journal except more exciting because there is that small possibility that you have hundreds of fans in China or Europe waiting anxiously for your next post.
Back to the purpose of this post.. its blowing my mind! This is a picture of my little neighbor friend Chris and I holding some of my AP art right after I got my portfolio back last summer. The picture on the left of the farmer couple was one of my favorite ones and I brought it to college to frame and hang in my apartment. Well second semester is almost over and still my room is pretty bare, there's one of my favorite Greg Olsen's on my book shelf and another I did above my desk but that's about it. So the time came tonight to add a little flavor to the walls. I picked the perfect spot to hang my blinde-contoured farmer people, had the special hanger things I bought at "family dollar" that don't leave marks on the walls and everything. I looked in the portfolio where I had put the piece when I moved in and...GONE! It has been stressing me out so much I can't even begin to explain.
The ironic thing about this event though, is that tonight I realized I had lost my bag with my wallet in it too. That wallet had credit cards, cash, key to my room, my mail box code, PADI card, drivers license and all sorts of important stuff like that. It's funny to me that I am so much more stressed about the painting. I think it's because things like credit cards can be canceled and replaced, I can find another wallet, not to say this won't be a lot of work but everything in that wallet "created me" if you will, but I created that painting. The painting reminded me of a lot of great experiences in that period of my life. I guess my drivers license reminds me of..traffic school and drivers ed. I guess I'm just trying to figure out why I'm holding onto that painting so much. We read a graphic novel called "God's Man" in my writing about art 2010 class recently. The artist is broke and starving and gives his last pence to a beggar outside a cafe. He enters the cafe and eats, the owner naturally wants pay. The artist offers one of his prized paintings as pay and the next frame is the owner laughing in his face. To him, his art had just as much if not more value than the price he owed for his food. But obviously capitalist society claims if this work of art doesn't have commercial value it is worthless blah blah blah.. The artist ends up signing a contract offered to him by a mysterious figure in the restaurant. The man pays him to create art and gives him fame prostitutes and riches galore. The artist at the end is thrown (or jumps- debatable) off of a cliff because he realizes in that moment that he has given his entire life away, wasted everything for money and commercial value. The moment you have SOLD your soul, art or ability- its not about your soul, art or ability anymore.
That book just came to mind in the middle of all my frantic worrying. Well wow, this was a novel but I should really do what I am supposed to be doing and study for my math test tomorrow. I will get to the bottom of this mystery. To be continued..

It's an InconveinieNieEence to spell inconvenience

So this sign was on the credit card machine when we went to D.I.tonight. Emily, Elyse and I went to go see if they had roller skates so I could finally join their roller derby. I found the sign funny because 1) its D.I.-it's associated with uneducated homeless people 2) I though it was cute that whoever made the sign realized it looked wrong and tried to fix it by squeezing the "I" in, but they were still wrong, so some kind soul took the time to help them out 3)It made me ponder the length, spelling and meaning of the word inconvenience. It is such an inconvenient word like how many Es and Is? where does the E go? When do the Is stop? Why is the word inconvenient so "inconvienient"? I know I'm not the first to discover this phenomena but if I were someone who didn't know for sure how to spell inconvenient i would just put BROKEN, sorry. Or vice-versa but then I might also to be too dumb to rule that out. Obviously this sign is trying to be educated, professional, and polite but fails horribly because of that one little mistake.
It reminds me of this really good looking guy I saw walking down the sidewalk, he was so smooth. But he tripped on a pebble, edge of the sidewalk whatever and it defeated his whole image. But hey, I guess the lesson learned from all of this is small things can make a big difference and mistakes are humbling and also make life interesting...haha they just plain make you laugh out loud sometimes.

Aunt Robins Winning Drill Rutine! 1/31/09

Last time I went home I went to watch my aunts three time state champ drill team (Uinta HS) preform their prop routine. I was amazed at her creativity, she comes up with the most unique ideas! I still remember going to watch one of the sate performances when I was little- she found these huge a/c ventilator things on a construction site I think while an office building was being built- they looked like giant silver slinkys or accordions that you could fit inside, the girls came out in them and did this slinky dance...wait ha that sounds funny but they were inside of these huge silver tubes it was crazy, no one had ever seen anything like that before with a prop dance. I was so proud, I know she works super hard-shes such a fun, amazing person and dancer, one those people that makes me believe it's still possible to be older but not lose the "edge". She is hip, creative and just free. Love you aunt Rube! Congrats on the win.

P.S. My camera is funny it cuts out on the audio every time I zoom..annoying.

Halloweenies

The Freshman (minus 3) waiting to get taped for a Halloween practice. I love these girls!

From Left: Juddy, Riley, Hadley, Me, Stacey, Nikki

Things I learned today

1. Never watch film of your home security camera for family night. "Hey that's not the milk man.. Kendel?! Sneaking out." BANG BANG I'm creepin right across the screen WOW
   
2. Never go 97 in a 75. scratch that. never get caught going 97 in a 75
3. Always make sure needle in gas gauge is above half F (not half E...pessimists :)
4. Always leave with plenty of time to drive 3 hours back to college for soccer practice
5. Talk to Kelsea Park when your day is not going so hot... she always seems to help. thanks Kels.

Yay! A Blog Is Born

Hi! I created this blog for my CSIS computer class but hope to use it more as I learn more about it

Web 2.0 - What does it really mean?

click me to watch an incredibly interesting video about hyperlink text and the world of blogs.

This video demonstrates the incredible versatility of hypertext and blogs.. a new blog created every second?! what?! Simply amazing.